Really is the motherhood is not just a piece of cake. It can be so hard sometimes to manage everything for the family and for one's self. I started to feel the hard part of being a mother lately now that i have two kids to take care of. There are jealousy and fighting sometimes between the two kids trying to win me. They both wanted to get my attention and hugs so they fight, which sometimes i feel bad because the little one is more bully than the big brother. The poor big brother has to give way and run away to his room and cry. So i always try to explain it to my eldest that it's his little brother's turn this time. Before when he was all by himself, i gave everything that he needs too, the comfort, the love and the care. In fact, he is lucky because he is my first child, he gets to have everything without competing to his brother, but his brother has to compete with him because he came first.
It's very common that kids get into a minor accident or sometimes it can be really bad that parents has to take the child to the hospital. My little one had his very first accident last night. He fell on the chair, he was probably standing there like usual (which i did not see it really for i was in the kitchen), and slipped his feet and bumped his face on to the corner and made a cut in his right eye lid. I heard a big noise from the kitchen so rushed to come here by the computer room and found my little one on the floor crying. At first i thought he just fell, but then it got me scared when i saw his right eye bleeding. I really thought that his eyeball was the one got hurt, but i am so glad that it was just his eye lid, which is not so terrible, it could've been so bad if his eyeball got hurt. It was just reddish due to the strong impact. But still, made me feel so bad and hurt every time i see the cut in his eye.
My two boys are totally opposite in a lot of ways. The big brother is more quiet and reserved, the little one is more active, handful and adventurous. So i have to balance myself in between them as their mother. It's really hard sometimes especially when i feel so exhausted and no one can replace me for just at least few hours. I cannot rely on to hubby because he is more on working around the house rather than attending the kids and sit there watching them. He is one hard working guy that likes to move around. So i also am pretty much moving around since i almost can't find time for myself, it's not even enough for my kids. I realized now what my mother did for us, and because of that i admired her even more. She's got nine kids and was able to take care all of us and now we are all grown and most of us are settled. I only have two kids yet, i feel so exhausted already, how much more my mother way back then? I applaud my mother for what she did to us, what a great responsibility and obligation to be a mother, it's really so hard, yet it is also fulfilling.
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